To Reestablish and Establish
by Gilsaragrissom
Summary: Gil tries to reestablish the friendship he and Sara once shared. Exploring the beginning of their relationship. Rated T for chapters to come.
1. Chapter 1

"Did he move the bra to where you might have wanted?"

"I didn't want it any where. I collect evidence without emotion." She spoke coolly, collectively.

"But you do get emotionally involved though with the men on your cases Hank Pedigiee wasn't the first time..."

"Excuse me?"

"A murder investigation at the residence of one Charles Renteria? Eye witness stated he saw you and your supervisor Gil Grissom standing alone outside and you were touching him in a romantic gesture."

All the blood drained from her face. Her heart threatening to sink deep further into her chess. There was a long pause before she was able to collect her thoughts.

"I brushed chalk from his face."

"Is that what they're calling it now?"

"Objection your honor!" was called by the peoples lawyer but it was faint and far away for Sara, her concentration shifting, becoming uncomfortable and uneasy.

"Dry wall dust. We were looking for a body." She tired to recover but it was clear that she looked like a deer in headlights.

"Its a fair question your honor. Just how far will Ms. Sidle go on the evidence to please her boss Gil Grissom- whether he returns her attentions or not.

It had been a few hours already but she could still feel the deep burn of public humiliation and embarrassment. Grissom had brought the case home with a slam dunk, matching the waffle blood stain to the perps scar, but even with the slap in the face to the defendant and his lawyer, she still felt violated.

She picked up her things from the locker room and walked down the hallway to leave. As she looked down the corridor she saw a familiar figure walking towards her.

"Hey Hank" she smiled half heartedly.

"Hey, You want to grab breakfast? Looks like you've had a long shift."

She looked over to Judy's reception desk where Grissom stood talking to her, as she relayed messages and mail. Then turned her attention back to Hank.

"Its tempting, but no- thank you. I think im just going to go home and have a good long sleep."

"Alrighty then, call me whenever." and with that he left.

"You shouldn't feel like you can't see him anymore just because your relationship was made public."

She looked to her left to find Grissom standing there next to her. She furrowed her brows, staring at him harshly,

"I'm not. I'm tired. Goodnight Grissom." she said a bit coldly and left.

"Gil..." Catherine's voice came out of seemingly nowhere. But he continued to watch Sara leave as he listened to Catherine. " You know... Sara went through the ringer today in court."

"Yes I know. We all did." He turned to her once Sara was out of sight.

"Thats true, but differently."

"What do you mean?"

"Her feelings for _you _were outed in court today."

"For me!"

"Oh please Gil, Don't pretend to be all innocent. You and I both know that there is something between you two, and if you _don't_ know it then you're a lot more socially inept then i thought. Poor girl was torn apart today. First with Hank, the person she's seeing, I presume, to try and get over you. And two with you, on the stand, attorney went off about how she'll stretch evidence to impress you even if you don't return her affections. Which, I know isn't true now is it Gil? Its not that you don't return her affections, Its that you're too scared to return them." She paused and smiled at the confused Grissom that stood before her, "but thats quite enough of my monologue for today, its been a long shift. See you tomorrow Gil."

He watched as she too disappeared down the corridor, out the lab doors. Left with only his thoughts racing through his head. He quickly retreated to his office where he organized his desk while he did the same to his thoughts.

He couldn't help replaying Catherine's words in his head over and over again. "You're just to scared to return them.." Was this true? Was all the excuses he told himself for why he had to distance himself from Sara simply because he was afraid? But afraid of what? He began to psychologically analyze himself, digging deeper into his psyche until he just couldn't take it any longer.

Before he was fully aware of what he was doing, he had driven to her apartment and was sitting in his car, looking up at the window he knew was hers. Her light was on. His feet began to move and all of a sudden he was standing in front of her door. He took a deep breath and held in before hesitantly knocking.

He heard quite shuffling on the other side of the door, and watched as a shadow moved, covering the eye hole. The was an extremely long moment between the evidence that she looked through the eye hole, and the turn of the knob at the door.

"Grissom..." She didn't try to hide the perplexed features on her face, nor the slightly harsh voice that spoke his name. He cringed at the sound of his name being spoken like that.

"May I... come in?" His hesitant voice somehow lightened her, but only a little, she moved aside, allowing him entrance.

His fingertips from both hands touched together in a nervous manor.

"I'm sorry."

The statement completely threw her off. She just stared at him, a bit dumbfounded.

Realizing she was not going to speak he continued, "I'm sorry, I really am. I'm sorry for my curt comment before you left work today. And I'm sorry for everything I've put you through, you've been the victim of my bad moods far too often and I'm not quite sure why. But I know its completely my fault, and i don't want you to go on thinking you've done something to deserve that, because you haven't. And most of all." He paused to look up at her, make sure she was on the same page as him, "most of all I'm sorry that i let our friendship deteriorate."

He could see some of the tension leaving her body as she began to relax.

"You know. You could have just sent a plant." Her stabbing joke let him know they were going to be okay.

"I figured a gesture like that only works once, if at all." part of his lip began to curl, but is was hesitant, he wasn't sure if he was in the clear just yet.

"You're probably right." She spoke with ease. "Well, I suppose I forgive you, you can let your conscience at ease now."

He sighed with relief, "Lets have coffee before shift together?"

The statement came too easily for him, which let her know that he meant this strictly as friends. And she wouldn't have expected anything more from him.

TBC


	2. Chapter 2

He couldn't wipe the grin off his face as he drove home. It was just that he was so proud of what he had accomplished. He had barely stuttered or chocked on his words, of corse there was a bit of hesitation, but not too much showed he didn't think. He managed to save their friendship, managed to bring her back into his life, even if it was still strictly as friends, it was better then nothing he mused.

He could do this, he could get coffee with her, grab the occasional breakfast after shift, maybe even sit around each other's homes while discussing a philosophical topic from a scientific point of view. Just having her with him would ease his mind.

Yes, he did want her. He wanted her physically and emotionally with everything in him, but he knew he never could.

As he had sat in his office earlier in the evening, going over what Catherine had said, he had time to be completely honest with himself. He came to a few realizations. One, being that he wanted her, maybe even needed her, he ached for her touch, and he recognized and accepted this as truth. The second was that he was her supervisor, any relationship would be highly inappropriate, unprofessional, and scandalous. The third was that she was with Hank. As much as it pained him to see them or think of them, it was true, and he had no right to interrupt it. And the fourth truth he came upon was the comparison of himself to Hank Pedigee. Hank was young, handsome, strong, exciting. And he looked upon himself as old, quite, reserved, boring, unfit, and quite honestly, a bit out of practice when it came to women.

He thought back to the friendship they once had and longed for it, reminiscing on their easy comfortable company, unpressured conversations. He missed it terribly and decided to resume it, that is if she would let him.

Meeting before shift became a semi-regular routine for them. And the company was greatly enjoyed by both parties.

Sara had resigned to the fact that they were only going to be friends, that nothing more would come from these 'get togethers' but every once in a while her mind would wonder when he smiled a certain way, or carried about a certain mannerism that made her melt inside. Of course she had feelings for him, strong ones, and they would probably never fade, but being on good terms with him, spending time with him, it really was better than nothing. Just being with him, occasionally laughing with him, it made her feel content, something that never truly came easily to her. But she continued to see Hank, a way of really committing herself to only seeking friendship from Grissom, which was one of the hardest things she'd ever done.

She didn't deny the feelings she had for Hank. It wasn't, after all, as if she were just using him, though that was a majority of it. No, Sara was interested in Hank. He was sweet, kind, considerate. He was handsome and built, and he was pleasurable in the bedroom. Often times she would feel unbearably guilty, as she laid in Hanks arms after being physical, as he slept soundly, and all she could do was think of Grissom, and how she longed for his arms to be around her instead of Hanks.

The fact that she had, in a way, been using Hank made the break up much easier. She found out, on a case no less, that she had been 'the other woman'. He had been cheating on his long time serious relationship girlfriend with her. So in the end, she rationalized, they had been using each other.

The worst part in all of it was the way the word got around the lab. At the end of shift she got in Catherine's car who promptly offered to take her out for a drink.

Usually, drinks with Catherine of al people was not high on her to do list, but today she welcomed the invitation.

Catherine drove them to a bar just off the strip where it was more locals and less of tourists. A quite place for friends to get together, not so much of the hustle and bustle of the party scene. They sat at the bar together and started off with mixed drinks.

"You know," Catherine spoke after a few drinks, "You seem more relieved than sad, or upset."

Sara smiled, "I think I am. Not sure why, but... I just don't really care. I mean yeah," she took another swig of her drink, "I liked him and all, and what he did was disgusting. Really though, I'm more mad at myself for not seeing it."

Catherine nodded. She liked Sara with a few drinks in her, she was much more open, more at ease, and more comfortable to be with.

To Catherine's surprise, she continued to talk about it, "I think i was just sticking with him until something better came along, you know. So in a way, I was using him just as much as he was using me. Only difference is, is that I wasn't a pig about it."

"Awful you had to find out the way you did."

Sara laughed, "Yeah. Well. I'm just glad I found out. I just feel like a fool." Sara's phone began to ring. She looked at the caller ID, and then at her watch. It was four hours after shift, she wondered why Grissom would be calling, but she answered anyway incase a case had come up.

"Hello?"

"Hey, ... Sara,"

"Hey, what's going on?"

"I uh... I was wondering if you'd like to grab coffee or something... I heard, about- and thought you might like some company?"

"Oh, yeah... well thank you, but I'm actually out with Catherine right now."

"Really?" he said a bit skeptical and amused.

She laughed lightly, "Yes, something wrong with that?"

"Oh, no no, not at all." he paused, "Well I'll see you at shift tomorrow."

"Yes, you will." She smiled. They ended their phone call and she turned to apologize to Catherine for the interruption.

"who was it?"

"Oh, it was just Griss."

"Case?"

She shook her head as she finished off her drink.

Catherine looked at her quizzically. Her eyes bore into Sara, waiting for an elaboration.

Sara simply shrugged in reply, treating the phone call as nothing, "He asked to meet for coffee."

A smile grew on Catherine's lips, "uh, hu..." the grin grew a bit more.

"What?"

"oh, no... nothing. Just, It's interesting, thats all. You're done with Hank and before the night is done He calls to see you..."

Sara laughed, "Its not like that Cath. At all. We've actually been spending some time off shift together, we're working on our friendship."

"Is that what they're calling it now?"

The line made her flash back to that day in court all those months ago. She tried her best to push the thoughts away and she forced a chuckle,

"No, really though. You see, we actually used to be really great friends, all those years ago. And then upon me coming here, after a little bit of time passed, it just deteriorated, he was always in a bad mood and taking it out on me, who knows why. But we're trying to get back to where we were."

"You know how elementary kids interact on a playground?"

Sara softly nodded, not sure of where she was going with this.

"When a boy likes a girl, and he pushes her in the mud, pulls her hair, throws sand at her? And then they grow up and realize they're not getting anywhere by being mean? ... Thats Grissom."

Sara laughed, "You cant possibly think that Grissom sees me as anything beside a co-worker and friend."

Catherine shook her head, "You're not honestly _that _naive Sara, right?"

Sara began to feel a bit uncomfortable, shifting in her stool, and realizing she may have had a few too many.

"Uh... I- uh.." she began to stutter.

Before she realized, Catherine was putting sara in a Taxi to go home, talking to the driver for her.

The car stopped and Sara looked out the window, to her surprise she was at Grissom's house.

"Wait. no. This is the wrong address."

"This is what the lady told me." The cabbie said turning to her, "And she only gave me money for the fare till here." Sara dug into her purse to find money and realized she had none.

She finally brought herself to exit the cab, and watched it as it drove away into the dark night. She turned her attention back to his house. _What was Catherine thinking!_ She was upset at Catherine's blatant assumption and a little offended by it as well. Now that she had but her in this awkward position.

With no other options Sara made her way to his door and knocked.

"Gil..." She breathed as he stared back at her.

"Sara. What are you doing here?"

"You see, Catherine... She..."

"Come inside," He ushered her in and took her coat, "Sara... are you drunk?"

She looked down at the floor ashamed and tried her hardest to regain sobriety. "Catherine took me out, and then she put me in a cab and paid him to take me here... I don't know why. I'm sorry."

He was rummaging around his kitchen and then made it back to her, having her sit on the couch. She held her head in her hands, "Im so embarrassed,"

He laughed lightly, "Don't be... Catherine- she has a way of, well, of wanting to get into everyone else's business and speed up processes."

A kettle whistled from the kitchen. He left her and returned with a mug of hot tea. She wrapped her hands around it, "Thank you." She spoke quietly.

He placed a hand on her back, softly, making her suddenly aware of how close he was to her.

"You can stay here tonight, I have a spare bedroom."

She nodded slowly, "thanks."

"Let me go get the room ready, okay?" He disappeared again, down the hallway. It was several minutes before he made it back to her.

"Everything's ready, and i left you one of my shirts if you want to wear it to bed..."

She stood and walked over to him, placing a hand on his check. Her touch made his breath catch in his throat. "You're very sweet." she told him before pressing her lips to his other check and walking off down the hallway. His stomach twitched, and a heat rose below his abdomen. His mind was in a haze. _How was she able to do this to him with such a simple touch? _

He laid in bed, all he could think about was that Sara was across the hall, sleeping here, in his home. Wearing his T-shirt, and most likely only underwear. His breath became ragged as he thought of her, the heat rising again. He closed his eyes tightly, trying to suppress his more primal urges. It had been hours since they had parted ways to separate beds, but he still couldn't fall asleep.

He began to hear something, a moan? He couldn't decipher it, until he heard her yell, "No!" With that he sprung up out of bed and ran into her room.

"Sara!" She was laying there tossing from side to side, "Sara?" He spoke a bit softer, sitting on the edge of the bed and putting a hand on her shoulder, trying to shake her awake softly.

Her eyes began to flutter open slowly, "Gil?"

"Are you alright?"

She looked around as she slowly sat up. "Oh gosh. I'm sorry, was I talking in my sleep? Gahh, Im so sorry, This is so embarrassing."

He kept his hand on her shoulder, "No don't be... are you okay?"

"Yeah.. yeah I'm fine... just nightmares." she spoke hesitantly,

"Does this happen often?" He squinted his eyes and cocked his head to the side, in that way he did when he was concerned.

She nodded, "Its not a big deal though... Its always been like this."

_No wonder why she always worked overtime, she has to go through this every time she sleeps._

"About cases?"

"Sometimes..."

"Tonight?"

"No." she spoke softly, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to elaborate.

He nodded, He didn't want to pry. "Can I do anything?"

She shook her head. "No. Thanks... I'm really sorry."

He brushed his hand through her hair, pushing it out of her face and behind her ear. She looked up at him, again realizing their proximity and her breath became short and shallow.

"Maybe..." his voice trailed off for a second, "Perhaps It would help if... if I stayed as you slept..."

She looked at him in surprise, and he suddenly became extremely self conscience.

"Im sorry," he spoke quickly, "I didn't mean like that.. I meant... never mind." As he stood to leave she grabbed his hand to hold him back. He turned and met her eyes with his, questioning.

"No- It might... help, i mean."

"Are you sure?"

She nodded and moved over in the bed, he slipped in. They laid there. On their backs, stiff, unmoving, a great distance lay between them as they both just stared at the ceiling.

He began to mentally prepare himself not to become aroused because he knew it would be difficult with his next action. He slowly, carefully, and extremely hesitantly, moved a little closer to her.

She rolled over onto her side, turning away from him, trying to fall back asleep. He moved in closer, and then pressed his body to her back, curving his body to hers, and wrapping his arm around her. He felt her body tense at first and then melt into his. He smiled.

Her eyes began to grow heavy again. But her mind continued to race as it slowly drifted off, _his warm breath kissed her neck, his arm draped over her mid region, his body contoured to hers, his knees bending behind her own. _She almost couldn't stand it. What did this mean? What was transpiring?


	3. Chapter 3

She woke to the sun coming through the windows. As she rolled over she found the other side of the bed empty, cold. Perhaps she had imagined the whole thing. She sat up and looked around. Her head pounded as she remember drinking with Catherine. Shaking her head lightly, scolding herself for having so many. She got up and looked in the mirror, smoothing her hair with her hands. Her make-up had stayed as she slept and her hair didn't muss too badly. She looked down at herself, seeing she was wearing an oversized black shirt that read "Hope athletics", without pants. The shirt did, however, hang down to right above her knees.

She looked around the room and didn't see her other clothing, finally residing to the fact that she'd have to walk out of the room looking as she did. She sighed.

She walked into the kitchen, shy by her appearance, and surprised to find Grissom there, standing over the stove. He turned at her presence.

"Good morning" he spoke softly as she saw him giver her the 'once over'.

She took a moment before she responded, "I couldn't seem to find my clothing..."

Grissom nodded, "I took them this morning to wash them, I hope you don't mind..." He's words were hesitant, they always were.

"Oh... no, thats fine. Thanks..."

"Would you like breakfast? ... I made eggs."

She nodded as he motioned for her to sit at the kitchen table where two places were already set and the two plates already had assorted fruit and a piece of toast on them, with glasses of orange juice nearby. He placed eggs on each plate with the spatula before returning the pan to the stove and turning the flame off.

He joined her at the table. Unlike her he was fully clothed, though not as she normally saw him. He was dressed down, casually like one would expect someone to dress when in the comfort of their own home, however she never really pictured him wearing dark washed jeans and comfortable white T.

They began to eat the meal he had prepared. "Hangover?"

she looked up, "hmm? ... oh. uh, yeah" she let out a nervous laugh, "just a little. Nothing too bad." She paused for a long moment before adding, "Im so sorry about just showing up here. I really had no idea what Catherine was doing, nor do I really understand why..."

He nodded, "No one ever really knows what Catherine's motives are until its too late" he supplied.

"And for the shirt... thank you."

He nodded again, smiling softly, "don't worry, the was should be done soon. We have plenty of time before shift but I can give you a ride back to your place whenever you'd like."

She took another fork-full of food as she now nodded. "This is really great. Thank you." she realized how many times she said thank you but she couldn't seem to help it, "Who knew you could cook!" she playfully teased.

"I happen to be an adequate cook, thank you very much." He replied in the same teasing manor, "I cooked a lot for my mother and I after my father died."

She looked up at him and into his eyes, he had never told her that his father had passed away. "How old were you?"

"nine." he answered simply as she nodded in understanding.

"I was ten."

There eyes met, and they held the eye contact for a little longer then usual, somehow communicating without speech or body language. Sharing a mutual understanding.

"Is that when your nightmares began?" his voice was soft and tender, but he regretted his words almost immediately. He hadn't meant to let his thoughts become vocalized, he knew it was none of his business. But he was shocked when she responded 'yes'. No more was said, nor needed to be really.

"I think last night, was the first real sleep I've gotten in a long time. I actually can't remember the last time i slept so peacefully.."

He smiled sheepishly, "So it helped..."

They heard a beeping sound from a room down the hall, indicating that the laundry was done. He excused himself to go get it. As he did she cleared their plates and washed them off.

When he reappeared she was done, and he held her clothing folded in his hands. She made her way over to him and reached out to take the clothing, placing her hand on top of them, but he caught her hand in his.

She looked up at him, surprised, confused. And when she did she saw something in his eyes, something she couldn't recall every seeing there before. She couldn't quite place what it was. Desire, determination, perhaps lust? There wasn't much time for her to think about it between then and his next actions, which were placing his other hand half on her check and half behind her head, bringing her to him, and then, capturing her lips within his.

She gasped softly in surprise as he continued to kiss her, she didn't respond at first. Her body shocked into paralyzation.

She still didn't respond. He moved back, a wave of fear and regret washing over him. Had he miscalculated? Mad a mistake? Did she move on? Or had her feelings for Hank clouded over the ones she had or used to have for him.

"I'm sorry." he spoke quickly as he broke the one sided kiss, "I- I... I shouldn't have-"

She suddenly regained her mobility and stopped him mid sentence by pushing him up against the wall. His mouth gaped slightly in surprise. She took his lips within hers and kissed him passionately, hungrily. And he returned her intensity.

His hands moved to her back, tenderly, as her own hands moved to his face, the back of his head, her fingers intertwining within his salt and pepper locks of hair.

Her body pushed against his, his groin firmly against her abdomen, growing in anticipation. A moan escaped from deep within his throat.

Part of her needed to speak to him, make sure this was real, that he had made his decision. But she knew that he wouldn't take it this far without being sure, and she didn't want to stop 'this'. But her heart told her she needed to.

She broke their kiss, but stayed close in proximity, felt him throb against her. His eyes slowly opened, looking at her tenderly, questioning though.

"What has changed?" she looked deep into his eyes. He moved his hand from her back to her face, cupping her check in his hand.

"It took me too long to act on my feelings, though know they were always there." he paused and then whispered, "I don't want to loose you."

She leaned into his ear, the breath of her words tingling his senses, creating goosebumps, "You could never loose me."

In one swift movement he put his other hand on her check as well and kissed her passionately, hungrily, lustfully. Then changed their standing and pinned her against the wall, Pressing himself against her, the throbbing and heat emanating from him was almost as much as she could take. Her legs felt numb, she needed him.


	4. Chapter 4

The kiss was gentle but hungry at the same time. His weight against her, back feeling the stiff wall as he pushed her hard against it. She tried to turn off her mind, to melt into the moment but her senses we heightened and her mind was processing every minuscule detail of each second, each motion, each touch. She couldn't tell if her breath was just ragged or if she was forgetting how to breathe.

There was that low moan again emanating from deep within his throat. That low rumble made her gripped his back tighter. She had thought it impossible for them to be pushed closer together but proved herself wrong as she pulled him against her even more. He moved his attention from her lips to her neck and her mouth gaped in pleasure. It had paralyzed her, his warm breath and light kisses traveling down her neck, lips brushing skin so gently.

When she regained mobility she moved her flat palms down his back, finding the edge of his shirt and making her way underneath it.

Skin on skin. Her hands roamed his back gently, fingernails tracing softly. The sudden feel of her hands on his back made him stutter in his movements, it turned something inside him. Made him hungry, and suddenly it wasn't enough. He took up her lips in his forcefully and after a moment was forced to break the kiss to comply with what Sara was doing… which, he only realized once it laid in a heap on the floor, was pulling his shirt up over his head.

Neither were quite sure how it happened, but they had made their way to his bedroom, his dark wash jeans had been lost somewhere in the process.

He placed his hands on the outside of her knees and moved upward, catching the fabric of his shirt that she wore with him. The palms of his hands contouring the curves of her body. The soft fabric was lifted over her head, discarded on the floor, which was when she realized that the T-shirt was all she had been wearing besides her black laced panties and matching bra.

The back of her legs hit the bed and she sat, scooting back to the middle, half laying half sitting up. For a moment he thought it was another dream, one of the countless dreams he'd have of her, fantasized about her, but the ever tightening fabric around his groin brought him to realize that this was reality. And Sara was waiting for him to join her.

Her hand was outstretched to him, he took a hold of it as he knelt onto the bed, making his way to her. Her finger traced over his chest as he lowered himself to her, kissing her lips, then her neck, his hands roaming over her abdomen, applying slight pressure right above her panty line, slipping his thumb just below the edge.

She could feel the weight of his arousal on her thigh, pressing hard against her, throbbing. She moaned deeply, not being able to suppress it.

The sound of her moan made him push his weight onto her harder, abandoning her neck and taking her lips in his with such a hunger and desire it had even shocked him.

The gasp he expressed rewarded him with a low, husky laugh from Sara as she slipped her hands under his boxers. She began to work the fabric down his thighs, he helped her the rest of the way out of hast. Her bra was quickly tossed aside and his hands moved to the newly exposed area. Her lips hit his hard, her hands on his lower back and pulled him flesh against her.

He thumbed the only fabric that stood between them now. The feeling of lace beneath the pads of his thumb. His thumb traveled past the the thick band of lace, going lower and felt the source of the emanating heat. She moaned again as he applied light pressure back and forth over the area and then moved under the fabric, continuing. Her back arched to him and he could feel her legs tremor.

She breathed, "Gil…" almost pleadingly.

And the sound of his first name on her lips in such manor made his own body tremor.

The moist fabric was removed in one swift movement.

She sucked in a sharp gasp as he slowly and carefully entered her. Her hands gripped at his back, her short nails against his skin as he moved inside her methodically. Her moans we soft but forceful and only caused him to become more aroused. They moved in unison. She could feel the rumble in his chest and throat even if it wasn't completely audible.

She moaned again as he deepened his movements, and she realized that she had never truly vocalized her pleasure in such a manner, it shocked her that she wasn't able to control it or suppress it. And with the next one she spoke his name. As she did she saw his eyes, they were the darkest shade of blue she had ever seen, they were intense and intent, desire, hunger, wanting, and longing all pooling into his deep blue orbs. And as his name left her lips, in a breathy, elongated manner, his eyes sparked with joy. Nothing was in her control anymore, Her body, her mind, he possessed them all. She had never been brought to the point when the lovers name danced on her tounge.

Of course she had had pleasurable intimate relationships before, this was far from her first, and many had been enjoyable, thoroughly so, but never had they brought her so far in as this. She had never been able to understand how some people could scream the others name in enjoyment but now she realized how possible it was. Though she was far from screaming, she felt as though she might as well have been with how she felt. The heat rose through her as her stomach muscles tightened. She needed more of him, it was so intoxicating. Her mind felt like mush, her body shaking as they climaxed together forcefully. And when he finished he did not role off her immediately. He continued to hold her as they were, and kiss her with the same passion he had earlier, caress her face lovingly.

Once he did role off he pulled her to him, wrapping his arms around her, kissing the place where her neck and shoulder joined. Trailing the kisses. Their breathing was still ragged and short.

No words were spoken. They enjoyed the closeness of one another, the sound of each others ragged breathing beginning to even out. They each laid there, numb with satisfaction.


	5. Chapter 5

It took her a moment, as she gently stirred awake, to realize exactly where she was, why she was there, and what exactly the weight around her was. She closed her eyes and breathed in deeply, filling her senses with his masculine aroma. She felt him readjust against her, his left arm that had already been draped over her abdomen pulled her to him slightly, his fingers brushing soft circles on the skin just beside her bellybutton.

She turned in his embrace to face him, looking up at him. His eyes were soft and a glint of a smile lay in them. They laid in comfortable silence for a few moments. his fingertips continued to gently brush over her back in a small circular motion. She was the one to break the silence,

"What are you thinking?" her voice was small, barely a whisper, but the apprehension in it was loud and clear despite her best efforts to mask it. And it didn't go unnoticed.

A ghost of a smile tugged at the corner of his lips but he said nothing for a short while until he saw the apprehension seep from her last statement and resign on her face.

"Nothing." He spoke simply.

"Nothing?"

He shook his head in small movements against the pillow, "My mind is quiet." He took his hand off her back and placed it on her cheek, pushing a few stray bed-head behaving strands of hair to behind her ear. She smiled at his touch.

"Thank you." he spoke.

Her brows furrowed in confusion, mind racing in confusion, pain. Was he thanking her for what had happened, was that all this had been to him?

"For what?" She decided to ask before she let her mind race down a track that was hopefully wrong.

"For not giving up on me."

Relief rushed through her. Once her fears and wrong thoughts subsided she realized how personal what he just said really was. She kissed his lips gently, "Now what?"

She saw the slight flicker of surprise and confusion flash through his eyes before he spoke, "What about?"

She didn't know how to proceed, she wanted to know what all this meant before she put false thoughts in her head but she didn't want to scare him.

"What I mean is, I guess, is…" He watched as her eyes drifted from him to something behind him, her next words made him infer it was the clock on the night stand, "Oh wow, Griss, shift starts soon."

He turned his head around to see what the clock read and turned back around to see her beginning to sit up, taking the sheet with her.

He suddenly felt cold with her so far away.

She reached over to the side of the bed and slipped on the discarded Tee shirt she had warn to bed the previous night. Giving her something to cover herself up with as she walked to the kitchen to get her freshly washed clothing that had been discarded mere hours ago. She returned to his bedroom with her clothing, on her way to entering his bathroom to change. As she walked back into the bedroom he was standing there, naked, stepping into a fresh pair of boxers, pulling them up over his hips, letting the elastic rest on his west.

He looked up and caught her looking at him, though she quickly diverted her eyes.

"I'll drive you home." He spoke calmly as he pulled his jeans on. She only nodded in response.

The drive to her apartment was silent. She stared forward the whole time, her eyes glued to the rode before them. He pulled up to her apartment and put the car in park. She opened the passenger door after unbuckling her seatbelt.

"See you at shift."

She turned back to face him after the car door was closed again, speaking to him thorough the open window, "Yeah, you will." And with that she turned back around and walked into the apartment building. He watched as she disappeared behind the door and then drove away.

When he reentered his house a strange feeling washed over him. Loneliness? It was odd. He had spent practically his whole life alone, and then suddenly, after spending one day in intimate proximity with her, his indifference to his secluded lifestyle was stripped away. He missed her.

He followed the trail of his clothing to the bedroom. Picking up each article of clothing as he went along. Upon entering his room he espied her laced panties on the floor. The sudden realization that she hadn't been wearing anything underneath on her way home sent chills up his spine. He reached down and picked up the garnet, the moist residue still resigned within the interwoven threads. The events rushed through his mind. He still couldn't comprehend the fact that he had done this. It was he who initiated it. It was he who continued it even when she gave him the opportunity to change his mind, to rethink his actions. It was he who created the current situation. And suddenly he realized what her words had meant as they had laid in bed and she asked him "_What now?"_ She had meant them. She was asking what this meant for them, what this would change, what this wouldn't change. She was asking him how they were going to proceed. But he had been so happy waking to find her there, so satisfied and content, so shocked that his mind was quiet. It was so rare. The only time he really ever found his mind quiet was when he rode roller costars and when he… well actually, he couldn't think of any other time.

He filled his lungs deep with air and exhaled. His mind wasn't quite any longer, that much was for sure. Now it was boggled down with how to proceed. What exactly did he want from this? What did she want? Or better yet, what was she expecting? Work. What would they do about work? There was so much for them to discuss.

He now regretted taking these actions. He had never let lust control him before, why was this so different? He wanted to take her out, court her appropriately. Show her how much she meant to him. Use his actions to apologize for his past ones. But he did none of this, he gave into his emotions in a way he couldn't remember ever doing before.

Though its not like he acted without at least a little bit of thought. He had thought of carrying out those actions the night before, as they shared the same bed, as her warmth had engulfed him. He finished making his bed and then proceeded to the bathroom where he took a quick shower before heading to the lab.

Despite all the events that had transpired before the beginning of shift, Grissom still made it to the lab a good hour beforehand. He entered the break room upon the start of shift to find everyone sitting around waiting for their assignments. He regard each with his usual manner of a quick hello, a nod of the head, and then getting right down to business. He refused to let his eyes linger on Sara for any amount of time longer then he normally would.

"Alright then, Nick, Greg, Sara, you've got a double in a house off Ransior Road. Warrick, you and I have a 419 off the strip, and Cath you've got a B&E in Henderson."

The choice not to work with Sara was a conscious one. He felt they needed to discuss somethings before he could trust himself around her in such close proximities. The choice to have neither of them work with Catherine was also a conscious one. She was too quick, even the most subtle discrepancy would tip her off and Catherine had no need to know that her actions succeeded.

Sara was glad that Grissom had decided that they wouldn't work together tonight. It gave her time to think. And she was sure that she wouldn't be able to give the case her full attention with him around right now. Plus, she loved working with Nick and Greg. They were both so easy to be with. To be professional and comfortable at the same time. She loved them both deeply.

She had been walking through the lab hallways having just dropped off evidence at the trace lab with Hodges, making her way back to the layout room when Grissom spotted her.

"Sara,"

She turned to see him standing in the threshold of his office. She stopped her purposeful walk and slowly approached him.

"Hey, we just brought the husband in to question. Brass is with him now. DNA will either confirm or deny his presence at the scene, they're running it now…" She systematically began to give him an update on the case, rambling like she always did when she was nervous, especially around him.

"Thats good." He spoke, it was clear that the case wasn't the reason he called her over, "Would you like to grab breakfast once these cases are rapped up?"

"Hu?" He took a secret pleasure in the confusion that wiped over her face. "Yeah, sure. That sounds fine."

"Alright." He smiled, "Just stop by my office when you're all done I guess."

"Okay…"

He walked past her and left her standing there slightly dumbfound. He worked hard to suppress the smile that was daring to form on his lips.


	6. Chapter 6

They sat in the cozy little diner off the beaten path of the strip having just ordered. Her fingers fidgeted together underneath the table out of his view, but he could sense that she was uneasy.

He began an ordinary conversation, neither about work nor 'them'. And they drifted into an easy comfort. Joking, talking, like they had all those years ago in San Francisco, and even more recently, like they had been for a while now during their previous coffee 'dates'.

He finally spoke in terms of why he had asked her to breakfast in the first place. "I guess we should talk,"

"I thought that is what we've been doing for the past half hour." She joked as she took another sip of her coffee.

"I mean- you know what I mean…"

She put her coffee mug down and looked at him, it was now he who possessed the nervous tension.

"About last night…" His words drifted off,

"Is there anything we really need to talk about?" she responded in a soft, calm manner.

His eyebrows furrowed in confusion, she continued, "What I mean is, do you regret it?"

He shook his head in small movements, "No." he whispered.

"Me either. So, unless theres something you think we should discuss?"

He shook his head again. She smiled, "Okay then."

"Okay then." He repeated with a sense of joy lifting his words.

They finished up the meal with the same calm, easy demeanor. They walked out together and he walked her to her car.

"Have a good sleep." He spoke as he put his hand softly on her upper arm, relishing the feeling of her skin beneath his fingertips. She smiled as she got into the car and started the engine. He watched as she drove off.

She stood by her choice for them not to talk about it. She just wanted to let things be as they are. Not to force anything. Talking, over-thinking and overanalyzing, it had a way taking something special and making it scientific, analytical, calculated. None of which she wanted. She simply just wanted to be.

And her choice that day at the diner proved to let them 'just be'. In fact, she had barely noticed that there even was a difference. That anything was happening. It all blended together so easily that it could almost have been forgotten. But then, one night, two weeks later, when they finally found time to be alone together and were intimate once more, she felt the weight of his hold on her. She felt his chest rise and fall rhythmically below her cheek. She felt the tickle of his scruff against the top of her head. And she knew there was a difference, there was a change. Things would never be the same again. For better or for worse, what was was now gone. And this, this was now their reality. She smiled at the that thought and snuggled up closer to him, feeling the warmth emanating from his bare body against her own.

THE END.


End file.
